Monday, May 2, 2022

Pivot

 There is always a pivotal person in life along/around whom one’s life circles around. Personal pivotal people shape not just thoughts and be just influential(negative/positive) but have great impact on habits and behaviors too.

To begin with, obvious enough, the first pivotal person would be the mother. Mother being the primary caretaker in most of the cases. Mother influences the eating habit in the first two to three years. Life generally revolves around her. Father bears the torch along with the mother for the next few years until the friends take over. Father and mother strive to set forth all habits and discipline into life. 

As we age into active school kid, transitioning the pivotal point of life from parents to friends goes mostly unnoticed as we still continue to stay with them/move away to new places/city. This is because life generally becomes more happening and more busy. The learnings and guidance of the parents continues to help us traverse through those years although the friends remain to be the  pivotal person.

Many Friends come and go along the school life, college days and office years- but only some give an unscratch-able impact in our lives. Influential , relaxing, toxic, - they give life lessons worth remembering and cherishing either way.

Along those youthful years, the one person who remains supplementary pivotal person; the one who cannot be disregarded for the influence and impact they create in our life. They add such  confidence and energy  to our life. Siblings are the secondary lifeline in this world of uncertainty.

Grandparents and cousins are the tertiary and rather summer vacation pivotal points in most cases. The school year revolves around waiting for that one month of summer vacations(read it as relaxation)  with them. 

Every pivotal point mentioned goes for a toss at one point of life. The current called marriage/partner sweeps you off your feet(both positively and negatively ;-) ). All the pivotal pillars seem like distant hallucinations when the current called marriage gets your family extended and transforms into rapids called children. Learnings and influence of the previous pivotal points stay as a lighthouse to guide and set up some influential pivotal points out of the new life and newly found relationships.Immaterial of the spouse being the pivotal point, one’s own child(ren) becomes the evident pivotal point. Life starts revolving around bringing them up. The responsibility and dedication drives the show. Eventually, it turns into obsession, governing all major decisions of life. They give meaning to the living and also drain and demand all the energy. This new pivotal point stays on for more years. These pivotal point(s) are special such that having a secondary or a  tertiary person in life becomes out of question during this period. It is 365*24 effort. Maintaining sanity and knowing the limits about getting drawn and eventually drowning into this relationship is prime.

Unlearning and overlooking the time, energy spent on them; staying emotionally independent when they are ready spread their wings while simultaneously caring and guiding them when they need us is walking on the thin line. 

The pivotal points along the way helps us steer our lives along the path - the path of happiness, path of learnings & balance and path of love. 


Saturday, April 2, 2022

கேள்வி கவிதை

எண்ணில் அடங்கா
எண்ண அலைகளை
தன்னுள் தொலையாமல்
தட்டு மெட்டோடு
தவிப்பு தீர-  திணறாமல் 
தன்மையாய் தருவது தான் கவியா?
இல்லை
வளைந்து நெளிந்த 
வழியில் சென்று
மூடுபனி போர்வைக்குள்
மறைந்த வெள்ளை தாள்
விடையை தேடி
தேடிய விடைக்கு வினவும் தேடி 
வியப்பில் ஆழ்ந்து 
வார்த்தை இன்றி நிற்பது கவியா?

Tuesday, March 22, 2022

Writing for happiness

Happiness is eating 
Happiness is meeting people 
Happiness is watching the driftless branch movements 
Happiness is watching your favourite movie with your offspring and siblings 
Happiness is not having to cook a meal and yet have home food 
Happiness is fresh bedspreads 
Happiness is watching your favourite friend/family member's offsprings to like their parents 
Happiness is annoying the spouse
 Happiness is unexpected visits from parents
 Happiness is writing about all of this with the smile in the face.

Sunday, November 14, 2021

உண்மையின் தன்மையை

இவ்வுலகில், உண்மை கண்டு நெருங்கும் பலர் - அதே உண்மையை கண்டு வெறுப்பவர் சிலர் சிலர் பலராகவோ பலர் சிறுகவோ அவாகசம் அமையாமால் உண்மையின் தன்மையை அனைவரும் உணர்ந்து பல்லாண்டு காலம் வாழ வாழ்த்த வயது இன்று வணங்குகிறான்

Thursday, January 14, 2021

Am I raising a Atheist or humanist?

Thiruvallvur day 2021 started with the note on learning one thirukural a day.  
To begin with, we started with 
அகர முதல எழுத்தெல்லாம் ஆதி
பகவன் முதற்றே உலகு.

Was explaining how அ is first of letter. And then started questioning, what is the first thing in this world...very open ended question, very vague question for 5 year old.

Without the split second delay,  the answer  was "me". 
Explaining it is God and my 10 year old telling the first thing in his world is me is little back story. 
But the question is "was it an atheistic or humanistic answer?"  - guess his experiences and connections will answer it.

Tuesday, August 18, 2020

unconvincable Arjun

 My little chatterbox is everywhere in the home talking about difference between ripe, unripe and bad bananas, sharing his opinion on whose side of argument is correct and also crying when Dad hugs the big brother instead of him. He does so much to entertain us, make our life meaningful and beautiful. But never have I took a chance to write about it.

Dec 2019/Jan 2020
Today, his teacher walked over excitedly on seeing me to share an anecdote about Arjun.

During one of the conversation, they had ended up asking/telling I teached you alphabets and spelling.

Arjun had told, "No, I learned it myself"

I argued with this so much in his own terminology to inculcate him the value of gratitude/respect, etc.

Refusing to give up, Arjun finally resorted to say, "I say so because my teacher finds it funny and laughs"

- thats invincible Arjun for you..

 

 In the lunch table, during the discussion about Astronuts and rocket ships.

Question: Why would someone(astronaut)  get out of spaceships

Arjun(very very casually): To hoist their flags.

--- politics debunked


Cycling across the road not seeing the regular cyclist on his proper path in the road. 

The cyclist stops, apologies although it is not her mistake. She sympathetically asks,   "Are you okay?"

The big man  replies, "Not really" with the scorn in his face

----Politeness overruled