Does the
caption suggest the write-up to be some sort of philosophical stuff? Not
actually! This is about a medical procedure that I underwent to correct my
myopia….by Lasik procedure….
It has been almost two years my
mom has been asking to do that laser correction with which I would be able to
throw my spectacles off. But I thought I held an intellectual look with them. I
was comfortable feeling myself behind my spectacles. Thanks to the latest frame
which made me realise I never held that intellectual image ever and it is
merely my imagination and not intellectualism. ;-)
So my thoughts happened to get
transformed into decision and then to action very soon…..And here I am writing
about my ‘experience with my own eyes’ J…..
It soon
got decided that I am doing my procedure on a Friday (sep 22).Went for couple
of usual check-ups with my Doctor and the dates got fixed up. She gave me a
very small list of dos and don’ts. She explained the procedure completely from
drops to dangers. She was elaborate. I still feel the excitement I went through
as she completed explaining for around 8-9 mins…and she concluded saying the
original time taken would be even less compared with the time spent
explaining.:-)
Happy back home, I had to drive a
week waiting for the D-day..trying to understand what may made me decide “I am
throwing my specs off”. I was excited..tensed…anxious and wat not. And it was
there finally…My Friday ….my excitement was at the peak…happy and anxious. Had
a nice hair wash as per Doc’s instruction and was all set for looking through
my own eyes in just a half day…….:-) I did wait all day hear to my stomach
making noises. But all I could feel was my mind wondering why I don’t think
negative of things ….what if things go wrong?..what if my power doesn’t get
corrected properly?I am already bore of my mind!!…L
We had to go to nungambakkam by
1.15pm.The driver came around 12.45.We were ready…wondering who are all there
in that “we”?? me, mom, my grandpa and grandma(they were there to visit us)
…..the saddest thing is that even they
didn’t seem to have any fears….we all started as though we were heading to some
picnic talking about roads, bad hot weather…and all unrelated stuff.
We walked
into the Lasik centre like any other day with my new power spectacles. We had
some filling formalities, some disclaimers (usual fundas…) .Even that did not
trigger my parents or grandparents. Oh!!! they have seen dozen of caesarian operations and couple of
critical operations in their lifetime and this meant nothing to them….But this
is first disclaimer of the kind I am signing….mhmm….I am not sure what kind of
feeling it triggered in me. But I am sure it did not make me feel insecure with
my parents and doc around.
My Doc
had around three operations that day..Ooops they don’t call it operation.. It’s
called procedure. Anyways, When It was time to get into the Lasik room, I was
given some eye drops and I wore a small gown and cover for my hairs. I went
walking into the Lasik roomL I would have preferred a stretchers. I know that is little
too much. But then…L I expected a big room of big big machines…mhm….so the next
disappointment on line. It was small
room with small equipment more like CT scan machines. Not even that enormous.:-o
My
doctors (she and her husband) were inside and we exchanged hi’s and hello’s. So
now I had to pull my self under that
machine. It was my right eye that was privileged firstJ.My doctor covered up my
left eye. My eyelashes were struck with the tapes. There was small golden
coloured tongs(I shall call it that way…I am not sure of its name) that was fit
into my eyes to keep it wide open. Now she started off with the procedure on
the black of my eye with the running commentary as she had explained me the
other day. There was couple of drops applied. I was given cottons to my ears to
safeguard from the running water and avoid that distraction. She had already
narrated funny anecdotes about how
people used to be more bothered about
that more. The running water did create some tickling and distractions. I was
trying to be little serious and not to laugh.
First,
there were marks made on the black of my eye. Atleast that’s how I am told when
a needle like thing moved around my eye frame. The right eye was then washed
with the run of water. I could feel something too cool and see a equipment
which had an end that looked like the ones which person applying pesticide used
to have. As one can expect, I had a focus that I have to look concentrating and
it was obviously a RED light (It doesn’t mean anything associated with the
colourJ and presumably just the
physics) from a machine above me. Trying to focus on a light for some
stipulated amount of time is the only exercise I had to practice before the
procedure. It is no big deal before the vision ( I mean the objective of the
procedure and not the outcome ;-) )
Next was
the interesting part and exciting part of the procedure for which she had
warned me not to panic. The top convex portion of the black would be cut and
kept in one corner of the black. Laser would be applied right into crux of the
black to change the vision (eye vision of course) range. The amount and angle
would dependent on the power ,thickness of black and all the technical terms of
the eye that would have already fed into the machine.I know that this a layman’s
explanation of the procedure..but this is it!!!:-)
So what
is there to panic here??….Yeap there is one. When she cuts the black part
off…You will have a black-out …yes you read it right…no vision for just a few
seconds!!!:-) I waited for this point of the procedure. Wonder what they used
to remove the black part, I saw a black-out..”Oops…I don’t see anything..I
guess I have closed my eyes..Oh!!I don’t panic!!!!”..I felt bad for speaking
all this to myselfL Cha!!!This part all has also gone without issuesJ To feel happy or not;-) So
the crux of the procedure ..To apply the laser to the crux of my eyes…J Now I could see little
blurred coz part of black is not in
place. I was able to see some little sparks , smell burning cable and hear her
say “That’s it ambika..We are just applying laser ..Please look into the red
light straight”.I gave a little jerk, She continued saying..”Nothing ma..just
two more seconds and it will be done…Please continue looking into red light..It
will be done”.I thought she was just trying to convince me but that was
actually the truth too J .So Now putting back things to place. She used some little handle to
move back the top part of the black into place with the help of the marks that
was done earlier. Removed the tongs and tapes on the lashes. All was done for
my right eyes. Couple of twinkle and drops!. My right is all set to be closed.
She appreciated me for being a good girlJ and encouraged me for the next eye.
I moved a
bit ( not the machineL) and got ready for my left eye to be honoured!!! This time it was like
I am doing the Lasik for the 100th time kind of feeling. ….more
calm, more relaxed and not excitedL Billions of thanks to my Doc who made me feel thatJ.Let us forget the fact
that she made me devoid of the void feelings which I tried to nurture for the
fun of it!!:-(
The same
set of procedure was done for my left eye. The procedure was mostly uneventful
except that the golden tongs shape did not fit my meenvizhi and caused some
painL.So within the flash of
moments, I moved to the twinkling and drops stage. I was asked to close my eyes
for some minutes and then was taken to the next room by walkL .I removed my hair cover
and leg covers. Doctor did some initial check-up and gave drops to be applied
before I go for a review next day. Waities… This is not the end of it!! I still
have some more mokkaisJ….The excitement of the real experience is not yet in ….right??? My real
painful joy is on the way…
I wore my
anti-radiation glasses and walked out to the car and we drove to my house. The
every effort I made to open my eyes ended up with the falls of tears. On the way home, we
stopped the car to buy the medicines. And It was funny…..I was able to laugh,
smile and cry deeply when I could see “Karur Vysya Bank” hoarding clearly. But
I was warned by my people to stop testing the outcome. On reaching home, the
tears came pouring down. The torture of this tears continued and aggravated. It
started flowing down even if I kept my
eyes closed. I had some idlies and went to sleep with the crocin pills.
Got up
and tried hard to spend my time as I am not supposed to read books, watch TV
and strain my eyes. The only timepass I had was to check and explore how better
I can see now.I still had blurred vision and tears. Next day, on the way to
clinic I realized I am the most blessed on the earth and I had been postponing
the blessing for no reason. Doctor gave me some ‘excellents’ and ‘good’s.
It is
almost now two weeks when I am writing my experience. I still have very
very little blurredness since I am
applying drops. I realized that I am fast improving on that aspect when
compared to my other seniors who have operated. They claim to have had
blurredness and uneasiness for almost month.I still keep reading all things I
come across as a young kid who has started her spelling lessons yesterday. I
keep checking and comparing if it is as good as I was when I was with the
spectacles. I still feel with the specs I see better though my brain knows I am
just wearing a plain anti-radiation glasses. Is it how human mind works?
Atleast this makes me fit into the human frame unlike the fear factor that I
had to nurture.
Whatever
the fear, or the doubt I could confuse with. I am happy and equally sorry for
missing this for this longJ Happy for what…For I can now get up and see the eyes of the dove sitting on my window sill without specs, For I can
sit long on the bus window when it’s drizzling without cleaning my lens. I am
waiting for the trip to kuttralam where I need not see for the box to safeguard
my specs and need not search for my specs while in falls to enjoy the nearby
scenes this time!!!:-)
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