Married (Indian) Son's unsent Letter

Dear Mom/Dad,

I have grown up. I have a family. That does not mean I am not still part of “our” family.  I have wife who considers our  family as hers and forgotten about her own parents and siblings. I have beautiful daughter and handsome son. Above all, I am 35 now.  Do you remember what you used to do when you were 35. You were one of seven/four/five and your world was not as competitive as mine; Still you made your decisions, plotted your plans and executed them with ease. Then why cannot I? I do not say stop mending with me. I just say believe me.

My son is 5 now. He has mind of his own. I discipline him yet I give his freedom to think and express. It is not because I am good parent but because I am good believer. I believe in myself and hence believe in my kid. Truth and trust build wonderful relationships. May be you trust me, may be you believe but I have no clues of understanding it. Talking about understanding, every relationship is blossomed and watered into a big healthy tree only in mutual understanding and trust. Not by mere authority or power. I get down into my son’s World, speak his own language to find a space in his World and his heart. I have given him freedom to discuss everything and also instincts to his brain to decide good/bad. He does think before doing things (in his small World which would be keep expanding exponentially)  he knows I would dislike. He does that diligently every time because he needs a place in my World and my life forever. He values my relationship more than anything as we have been truthful to each other always.

 I know the question in your mind(cos I understand you).  Why give freedom to kids when they should be under your control? Why even at the age of 5?Correct?What if my grandparents had that idea about parenting? What If I do that to your grand kids? Then why do that only to me? To answer the age factor, the relationships needs to be attended, appreciated and maintained regularly from the day 1. It cannot happen out of nothing; more importantly not out of mere usage of Power. Even for Boss-subordinate relationship, it has to be mutual to bring the best out of the both.

I have made sincere efforts to please you.I have always been thriving a place in your World. Please give me a place in your World. Hope this thrive ends when you read this letter or when you see your grandchildren give the best to the World.

 

Love,

Your Son who always dislike your authoritarian parenting.